WTF am I Doing?
This questions probably went through your head if you have kids; are expecting kids; are thinking of having kids or even know someone who has kids. I’m sorry to say that I don’t have the answer to that question and probably may never have it. Yes, there are books out there written by every expert under the sun. Here is the only secret I can tell you; your kid(s) are different than every other one out there and you needs to find what works for you.
I have two wonderful boys (11 and 8) who couldn’t be more different. My 11 year old is a very picky eater and loves to read, while my 8 year old will eat (or try) anything and could care less about book. Now that isn’t their only differences but it is an example. What works for one child won’t always work for the other, if it does great. But don’t count on that working next time, for either of them.
For example. My 11 year old loves to cook and we do it every time I have them for the weekend. He even has his own cook book for his recipes. One of our favorite meals is cheesy eggs, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese melted inside. That is until one day. “I don’t like eggs.” What? Wait! We have made this so many times. What happened? Nothing, other than my boy was getting older and decided that he didn’t like eggs. I thought this was crazy but what could I do? Nothing.
Yes, we as adults may think we know better or even what our children need. But do we? What’s wrong with being fluid and letting our children tell us what they want our need? Nothing. Before you go crazy with the e-mails. I don’t let my children run amuck and do what ever. They have chores and homework that gets done, but I let them make decisions for some things. Guess what? When they feel that they have a say in things they are so much more cooperative.
Before I took this fluid and flexible approach to being a parent (while I was still married), there were fights to get things done and to eat certain meals. Now, no more fights. My boys do their chores without being told anymore. They help out without complaining. Everything is so much easier now.
Come back and I’ll tell you how I do it. Which may not work for you, but would it hurt to try?